Mr. Macondo from the BP Do Right Transition Team

Gail the Actuary stimulated this blog’s consideration of a great opportunity for Yes Men trainees. The TOD honcho asked rhetorically what to do about unemployment during the Peak Oil transition. This blog wanted to say: Look at what Big Oil is doing, all those lawyers anticipating years of fees, all the ongoing investment in disinformation, all the lobbying in its various shapes and forms and pursuits. We have so much for which to give thanks. Thank-you, Big Oil, may I have another.

This blog avoided such a “trolling” comment on TOD since it is other than the high level of Tech Talk in how current efforts can prevail. But here, a different perspective on the business at hand

Exxon in Ominous Neon
“Second-quarter profits at both Royal Dutch Shell and Exxon Mobil have nearly doubled from last year to $4.5 billion and $7.6 billion respectively, while ConocoPhillips profits quadrupled to $4.1 billion.” One could say, they are making a killing.

Posing as a Public Relations species for Bob Dudley, the upcoming BP CEO, they could announce his intent to avoid years and years of litigious delays, like other companies guilty of environmental disasters have done.

Instead, the new BP will make a concerted effort to restore the Gulf of Mexico to an even greater splendor than before the Deepwater Horizon disaster. Instead of buying scientists’ silence on the damage done, BP will dispel such suspicions. BP will invest significantly in the best scientific guidance for this restoration effort.

Acknowledging that this might put them in opposition to other members of the petrochemical industry and their agri-business allies, the PR team could say that their company is willing to endure such opprobrium. The need to make amends is much greater.

Yeah, too unbelievable, huh?

Dudley Do-Right of the Mounties
Curses, oiled again.

Other Possibly Related AG Posts Automatically Generated

8 Comments

  1. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-2 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    And speaking of consequences to the Gulf foistered by the petrochemical industry and their agri-business allies, Andy Revkin calls attention to the other Gulf stain.

    Gulf Dead Zone image

    Andy “Hi, Sailor” Revkin canvassed marine biologists and other experts for forecasts of the long-term environmental impacts of the BP disaster. BP must have missed one scientist, Nancy Rabalais. She sent the following…

    2010 DEAD ZONE ONE OF THE LARGEST EVER

    The area of hypoxia, or low oxygen, in the northern Gulf of Mexico west of the Mississippi River delta covered 20,000 square kilometers (7,722 square miles) of the bottom and extended far into Texas waters. The relative size is almost that of Massachusetts. The critical value that defines hypoxia is 2 mg/L, or ppm, because trawlers cannot catch fish or shrimp on the bottom when oxygen falls lower.

    This summer’s hypoxic zone (“dead zone”) is one of the largest measured since the team of researchers from Louisiana Universities Marine Consortium and Louisiana State University began routine mapping in 1985. Dr. Nancy Rabalais, executive director of LUMCON and chief scientist aboard the research vessel Pelican, was unsure what would be found because of recent weather, but an earlier cruise by a NOAA fisheries team found hypoxia off the Galveston, Texas area. She commented “This is the largest such area off the upper Texas coast that we have found since we began this work in 1985.” She commented that “The total area probably would have been the largest if we had had enough time to completely map the western part.”

    LSU’s Dr. R. Eugene Turner had predicted that this year’s zone would be 19,141 to 21,941 square kilometers, (average 20,140 square kilometers or 7,776 square miles), based on the amount of nitrate-nitrogen loaded into the Gulf in May. “The size of the hypoxic zone and nitrogen loading from the river is an unambiguous relationship,” said Turner. “We need to act on that information.”

    The size of the summer’s hypoxic zone is important as a benchmark against which progress in nutrient reductions in the Mississippi River system can be measured. The Mississippi River/Gulf of Mexico Nutrient Management Task Force supports the goal of reducing the size of the hypoxic zone to less than 5,000 square kilometers, or 1,900 square miles, which will require substantial reductions in nitrogen and phosphorus reaching the Gulf. Including this summer’s area estimate, the 5-year average of 19,668 square kilometers (7,594 square miles) is far short of where water quality managers want to be by 2015. Read the rest… (PDF)

    More background is available from the United States Geological Survey and Grist (which has Tom Philpott, who is down on the factory farm).

  2. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-2 at 10:28 am | Permalink

    Speaking of filming the BP Way in Houma, LA, I heard a rumor, which I just started, about a remake:

    Marcel Coutu
    will play Snidely Whiplash

    Bob Dudley - Tony Hayward
    will play Dudley Do-Right

    Senator Mary Landrieu
    will play Nell Fenwick

    BP Petroplutocrats, Their Pawns and Puppets
    will play the front end of Horse, seen in this publicity still taking direction along with jovial Thad Albert who plays Inspector Fenwick.

    But who, dear 20th century melodrama and silent film in the form of the Northern genre lovers, will play the rear end of Horse in Dudley Do, Too — the Canadian Outrage?

    Could it be…

    TVMOB?

    Twit

  3. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-4 at 7:00 pm | Permalink

    The “dead zone” area that forms every summer in the Gulf of Mexico is one of the largest ever measured. Via HuffPo, the AP reports on a Dead Zone in the Gulf the size of Massachusetts.

    The large area of low oxygen that chokes marine life comes in addition to the massive BP oil spill.

    Microbes that eat the oil can deplete oxygen in the water. But the researchers who measure the dead zone couldn’t say there is a connection between the spill and the dead zone’s size.

    They say the dead zone is roughly the size of Massachusetts, or at least 7,722 square miles. The largest ever measured was just over 8,000 square miles in 2001.

    The dead zone forms every year when bacteria feeds on algae blooms and uses up oxygen. The blooms are caused by the nutrient-rich waters from rivers that carry farm and urban runoff into the Gulf.

  4. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-8 at 7:24 am | Permalink

    Gray Lady reporter Michael Cooper notes, “Another front has opened in the news coverage of the spill: questions of how much oil is left in the water, and how damaging it will prove.”

  5. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-8 at 2:58 pm | Permalink

    Some government officials and news organizations have painted (with oil paints, no doubt) an unusually rosy picture of a new government report about the oil that remains in the Gulf of Mexico region after the BP disaster:

    Associated Press: “Report: Only one quarter of oil left in Gulf

    New York Times: “Oil in Gulf Poses Only Slight Risk, New U.S. Report Says

    Carol Browner, presidential energy adviser: “I think it’s also important to note that our scientists have done an initial assessment and more than three quarters of the oil is gone. The vast majority of the oil is gone. It was captured. It was skimmed. It it was burned. It was contained.”

    “There’s some science here, but mostly, it’s spin,” oil spill expert Ian McDonald, a scientist with Florida State Univerisity, told NPR.

    Think Progress says the report estimates that three quarters of the two-hundred-million-gallon BP oil disaster remains in the Gulf of Mexico region in some form, with about one hundred million gallons of oil still of concern. The massive effort to burn and skim oil captured only eight percent of the total, confirming fears that the skimming operations would be largely ineffective. Most of the oil — 52 percent — has been dispersed or dissolved, either naturally or by the use of chemical dispersants. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) and the Department of the Interior scientists believe that uncaptured oil is in the process of evaporating or dissolving, hopefully with little toxic effect. About 50 million gallons of oil — five times the Exxon Valdez spill — has either washed ashore or is in the remaining slicks that surround Louisiana’s marshes.

    Natural degradation of the oil does not come without environmental cost. As bacteria multiply to consume the hydrocarbons, they deplete the ocean of oxygen, exacerbating the huge dead zone along Louisiana waters induced by agricultural pollution and global warming. “The microbial community is going to break this down, but it doesn’t come for free,” Dr. Mandy Joye, a marine scientist at the University of Georgia, told EarthSky. “It comes at the expense of the oxygen budget of the system, and that’s something that’s not easily corrected.”

  6. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-12 at 9:14 am | Permalink

    Well Yes Men trainees, at least the Onion is holding up its end.

  7. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-14 at 9:28 pm | Permalink

    Heeding the cry, The Nature Conservancy has indicated it is committed to bringing the Gulf back to Full Health.

    Hugh Laurie as Dr. Greg House.
    “It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.”

    Well, to quote Dr. House, “Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause!”

  8. jcwinnie
    Posted 2010-8-18 at 2:21 pm | Permalink

    Too unbelievable, huh? How about…

    Bobbing in Petroleum
    This from the Big Oil Orwellian playbook

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