Urgent Request From Republic Of America For Business Relationship (Confidential!)

Kevin Allman via 3quarksdaily:

Dear American, My Dear Friend:

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America.

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with “Mr. Phil Gram,” lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a citizen, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transaction is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check.

We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction.

After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Do not discuss this message with anyone! Time is of the essence!

Yours Faithfully.

Minister of Treasury Hank Paulson

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This entry was written by jcwinnie, posted on 2008-10-2 at 9:01 am, filed under crime, danger, economics, finance, history, humor, policy, politics, standards and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.

2 Comments

  1. jcwinnie
    Posted 2008-12-17 at 8:50 am | Permalink

    Let the looting continue, crows the WPE.
    Hold on to you wallet, they're smiling

    Congress wanted to guarantee that the $700 billion financial bailout would limit the eye-popping pay of Wall Street executives, so lawmakers included a mechanism for reviewing executive compensation and penalizing firms that break the rules.

    But at the last minute, the Bush administration insisted on a one-sentence change to the provision, congressional aides said. The change stipulated that the penalty would apply only to firms that received bailout funds by selling troubled assets to the government in an auction, which was the way the Treasury Department had said it planned to use the money.

    Now, the small change looks more like a giant loophole, according to lawmakers and legal experts.

    Quote of the century: “I’ve abandoned free-market principles to save the free-market system” – George W. Bush

  2. jcwinnie
    Posted 2009-1-12 at 9:47 am | Permalink

    Quote of the downloaded outrage as the Congress critters get ready to vote for release of the remaining $700 billion before Obama can get in:
    “None of this will matter if institutions like government and Wall Street remain, well, kleptocracies. If the elites are just looking out for themselves then policies like the bailouts will just be more feeding at the trough.” druce via Fred Wilson

    New Trough
    The endemic corruption in Washington has funnelled into the pockets of well-connected corporations, nearly a trillion in taxpayer money (well – until the US Treasury is completely bankrupt anyway).

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